Previous breastfeeding difficulties: an existential breastfeeding trauma with two intertwined pathways for future breastfeeding-fear and longing

Purpose: Experiencing breastfeeding difficulties poses a risk for early cessation of breastfeeding and decreases the likelihood of breastfeeding a future child. To further understand breastfeeding outcomes, the aim of this study is to explain the phenomenon of breastfeeding difficulties in order to understand how women's previous experiences of breastfeeding difficulties relate to their decisions about future breastfeeding. Methods: A reflective lifeworld hermeneutical approach was adopted. The study consisted of 15 lifeworld interviews with eight women who had previously experienced difficulties with initial breastfeeding. Results: Previously experienced breastfeeding difficulties represent an existential breastfeeding trauma in an individual woman's life, from which there are two intertwined pathways for future breastfeeding: a fear of breastfeeding, which renders the idea of future breastfeeding unthinkable, and a longing for breastfeeding, which increases the likelihood of future breastfeeding. Fear and longing are intertwined in ambiguous ways in an individual woman's life. Conclusion: Women with previous breastfeeding difficulties may bring negative breastfeeding experiences with them, which are etched into the woman's being as a mother as an embodied memory. A lifeworld-led caring science perspective as a foundation for care can contribute to the development of caring practices, which grasp the existential nature of the breastfeeding trauma.