Too Reluctant to Reach Out: Receiving Social Support Is More Positive Than Expressers Expect

Receiving social support is critical for well-being, but concerns about a recipient's reaction could make people reluctant to express such support. Our studies indicate that people's expectations about how their support will be received predict their likelihood of expressing it (Study 1, N = 100 online adults), but these expectations are systematically miscalibrated. Participants who sent messages of support to others they knew (Study 2, N = 120 students) or who expressed support to a new acquaintance in person (Study 3, N = 50 adult pairs) consistently underestimated how positively their recipients would respond. A systematic perspective gap between expressers and recipients may explain miscalibrated expectations: Expressers may focus on how competent their support seems, whereas recipients may focus on the warmth it conveys (Study 4, N = 300 adults). Miscalibrated concerns about how to express support most competently may make people overly reluctant to reach out to someone in need.

Automated summary

Receiving social support is crucial for well-being, but concerns about the recipient's reaction may discourage people from expressing their support. Our studies show that people's expectations about how their support will be received predict their likelihood of expressing it, and these expectations are often misjudged. The difference in perspective between the giver and the receiver may explain the miscalibrated expectations.