Anxious feelings, anxious friends: on anxiety and friendship

Although anxiety is frequently seen as a predominantly negative phenomenon, some recent researchers have argued that it plays an important positive function, serving as an alert to warn agents of possible problems or threats. I argue that not only can one's own, first-personal anxiety perform this function; because it is possible for others-in particular, one's friends-to feel anxious on one's behalf, their anxious feelings can sometimes play the same role in our functioning, and make similar contributions to our well-being. I distinguish between a number of kinds of cases in which what I call proxy anxiety serves a positive function, including Anxiety Avoidance (where there is good reason for an agent to avoid becoming anxious herself, but can benefit from a friend's anxiety on her behalf), Anxiety Omission (where an agent fails to become anxious due to a malfunctioning anxiety-generating system), long-term commitments involving dispositions to feel other-directed proxy anxiety, and cases in which proxy anxiety can help reduce or relieve excessive anxiety. A person's friends, it is argued, are particularly well positioned to help regulate deficient and/or excessive anxieties, precisely because friends are close enough to care for and identify with the agent, but at the same time distant enough to maintain a relatively objective perspective. I conclude by examining connections between proxy anxiety and theories of well-being.

Automated summary

Anxiety, often seen as negative, can actually serve as a positive alert for potential problems or threats. Friends' proxy anxiety can also contribute to our well-being by playing a similar role in our functioning. Friends are in a good position to help regulate deficient or excessive anxieties due to their close but relatively objective perspective.